Dear Fanny,
Any advice on flatcest??? I am moving into a house this year
with my first year flat, from which FOUR PEOPLE committed flatcest (two couples). Will it ruin the dynamic/ get awkward, I’m worried I will feel like I’m third wheeling all the time?
Dear Flatcest Warrior,
Ah, flatcest: as old as Endcliffe itself. Some say it’s inevitable. Some say it’s cursed. You’ve somehow ended up with two couples: which is basically the Full English of flatcest.
Here’s the deal: yes, there will be awkward moments. Yes, you may occasionally feel like the extra chair in the room. But it doesn’t have to ruin the vibe.
Survival guide:
Lay down boundaries early. If the couples start acting like Love Island in the kitchen, a well-timed “please get a room” works wonders.
Make space for non-couple time. Suggest house nights that aren’t couple-y (movie marathons, Corp trips, spontaneous ikea visits). It balances things out.
Find your outside circle. Join a society, hang with course mates, or just expand beyond the house. That way, if the vibes at home get too couple-heavy, you’ve got an escape hatch.
Remember: couples break up. It’s brutal but true. One awkward Sunday morning and suddenly it’s not you worrying about third wheeling, it’s them worrying about who gets custody of the frying pan.
The key is not letting yourself feel like the “odd one out.” You’re not third wheeling, you’re the glue. You get to roll your eyes when they bicker over washing up, laugh when they post cringe couple pics, and still enjoy the perks of communal living without the flatcest baggage.
So breathe. Your house won’t implode. And if it does, well, that’s just more column material for me.
Yours in fighting flatcest,
Fanny x
