Dear Fanny,
how do I stop having sex dreams about people I don’t fancy in real life?
Dear Wandering Mind,
Sex dreams about people you don’t actually fancy. Classic. Your brain has decided to throw a late-night party and forgot to ask for your RSVP. Not the fun kind of party either, more like awkward karaoke night you didn’t agree to.
Step one: look at what you’re feeding it during the day. Your mind is a greedy little sponge. Too much random online content, weird encounters on the tram, or overthinking every tiny interaction, and suddenly your brain thinks, “Perfect material for tonight.” Keep yourself busy with things that actually matter—read, run, cook, hang out with friends. The more interesting your daytime thoughts, the less energy your brain has for unwelcome fantasies.
Step two: talk about it. To a friend, a partner, literally anyone who won’t judge your brain’s questionable sense of humour. Bottling it up usually makes it worse. Hearing yourself say it out loud often deflates the drama and reminds you that dreams are mostly nonsense.
Step three: bedtime misdirection. Instead of lying there stewing, give your imagination a different job. Picture ridiculous adventures, rewrite a favourite film scene, or imagine yourself piloting a spaceship. The bigger and sillier, the better. Your brain gets distracted and the unwanted dreams often quietly exit stage left.
Remember, dreams are weird, often meaningless, and rarely reflect your true feelings. Keep busy, distract your brain at night, and eventually, those awkward guests will stop turning up. Until then, consider it proof your mind has a sense of humour, even if it’s occasionally inappropriate.
Yours in eyebrow-raising pondering,
Fanny xx
