Charley’s unsolicited weekly take on the uni topics no one else dares to mention…
If you haven’t heard me speak—especially when I’m tipsy or overexcited—you should count yourself lucky. The Essex accent is definitely not for the faint-hearted, and uni students seem convinced that every resident of the entire county stars on TOWIE.
Surprisingly, my accent is fairly tame compared to some back home. Of course, that comes with comments like “uni’s made you soft” and subtle nudges when I forget that the word ‘the’ actually belongs in a sentence. But the second I walk into a lecture and start dropping my T’s or soften the R in ‘morning’, heads turn every single time.
The sea of accents at uni is intense but brilliant: people from all walks of life crammed into one room, where half of them can’t understand each other. But strangely, the Essex accent divides crowds more than most — it adds another layer to that classic North–South divide. Am I going too far to say this leans into classism? I think not.
Let’s start with my fellow southerners: it’s always Sussex, Surrey, or South London (and their accents aren’t much better), competing over what counts as “the Home Counties” and M25 boundaries at 2am in a random Endcliffe kitchen. Predicting your class and intelligence from the way you elongate your vowels and can say “shut up” better than anyone else is definitely an interesting experience — especially a year into a literal university degree programme.
But then the northerners, with their genuinely justified southern hate, think you’re way too posh in how you say “bath” and “grass,” so you’re classed as “the other.” Which, obviously, is fantastic — when neither side really likes you much.
And then you have those from the Midlands — they don’t have too strong an opinion on the accent and honestly can’t say much anyway, considering they’re probably used to the accent slander themselves by now.
But by this point, you’ve inevitably signed up for a three-year-long accent war.
Realistically, sounding like you’re from Essex isn’t all that bad. You seem bubbly and friendly when you’re literally just asking a question. Although, I won’t lie — I once asked for a “glass of water” and got blank stares until I repeated it more clearly.
We all have accents: some posher, some louder, but it’s literally just life. I’d rather accept mine than actually pronounce all my T’s — because who really wants to do that?
At the end of the day, accents are part of who we are — a badge of identity, a marker of where we come from, and something that makes uni life that bit more colourful.
Come back next Monday for another column from your new favourite oversharer!
Image Credit: Heat World
