Charley’s unsolicited weekly take on the uni topics no one else dares to mention…
Using Hinge in general is an interesting life choice, but Hinge in a uni city: a recipe for disaster.
As a self proclaimed retired Hinge veteran, please take this advice as what NOT to do when looking for your next uni romance.
When you arrive at uni newly single, you’re introduced to an everlasting sea and a much larger array of fish than you’re used to: until this lovely app makes you realise most of them are sharks (putting it nicely). Somehow, Hinge has become the game to play at pres: comparing likes, comments and the questionable things people like to put on their profile. This is all fun and games until you realise you’re using the opinion of little internet robots to determine your own self worth…
But its just a bit of fun!
Until…
- You come across profiles of multiple people you know and have to pretend you’ve never seen that awkwardly posed shirtless picture while still making small talk at every house party for the foreseeable future.
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You’re labelled boring and “a bot” for just matching energy with a guy that doesn’t seem to know that full sentences exist in the English language.
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You receive INTERESTING replies to a comment you put on your profile that you thought was cute and quirky about your own interests… Not quite sure how so many people can convert an interest in WW2 to the most lewd comments imaginable but its definitely possible.
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You’ve briefly chatted to someone, ghosted them because you can’t be bothered and its all good. Until you see them on the university tram crossing every Monday like clockwork on your way to your morning lecture that you just about managed to get up for anyway.
Or 5, my personal favourite (and also the most disturbing for all involved):
Someone you actually know likes your profile and tries to match with you, despite having a variety of other ways to contact you. In an ideal world, this is a situation where social skills and the ability to say hello to someone you see every other day would come in very handy(This is definitely not aimed at anyone specific). From way too much experience, this situation only doesn’t end in total humiliation of both parties 50% of the time: would not personally recommend doing this either way.
But seriously, you’re probably not going to find the love of your life on an app where a good 25% of people you match with live in the same student village as you, causing too many attempts to avoid them whilst doing your washing on a Sunday morning in last nights clothes.
At least its more fun to regret a decision after a spontaneous encounter on the Foundry floor on a Wednesday night, rather than having to arrange a meet up with someone whose profile picture is probably older than you are.
The only thing this app is useful for is diminishing self esteem and the best source of gossip that will never ever get old.
Please take this advice, or you’ll be rage deleting the app a scarily short period after. The app designed to be deleted? Yeah definitely: not because you find someone but because of the revulsion towards every other human in the world that I guarantee you will experience after less than a month.
Please take my advice, or a year later the only way you can cope with the experiences this app has given you is to share them on your little column so everyone else has to deal with your trauma instead!
Come back next Monday for even more life lessons from your new favourite oversharer.
Image Credit: Pinterest
