Charley’s unsolicited takes on the uni topics no one dares to mention…
We’ve all been there. You walk into the library telling yourself today’s the day you’ll finally get your life together. You’ve packed snacks, a tote bag full of false hope, and your emotional support water bottle. By 3pm, you’re questioning every decision that led you here.
Welcome to the library breakdown. The daytime sister to the drunk cry.
Stage 1: False productivity high
You arrive early, find a good desk, and start pretending to be That Girl. You’ve got your coffee, your laptop, and your notes spread out like you’re about to write a dissertation on the meaning of life. The first twenty minutes are spent on TikTok, but it’s fine, you’re warming up.
Stage 2: Realisation and panic
The caffeine hits. You open your essay document and see the word count: 187. Suddenly, your stomach drops. Everyone around you is typing like their degree depends on it (because it does), and you’re still trying to remember what your essay question even was. You start to ask AI “how to write 2000 words in a day” and seriously consider changing course.
Stage 3: The spiral
It begins with a sigh. Then scroll through your ex best friends’ socials. Then you remember every bad grade, bad haircut, and bad decision you’ve ever made. You get distracted by a group of people laughing across the room and somehow convince yourself you have no friends. Tears start forming, but you tell yourself it’s just eye strain and your dirty glasses.
Stage 4: The full breakdown
You’re in the toilets. You’re crying. The automatic hand dryer goes off mid-sob. Someone else walks in and you both pretend not to notice each other’s red eyes. You think about dropping out and moving to Canada to start a craft business on a farm.
Stage 5: Acceptance (and fake Greggs)
Eventually, you pull yourself together, wipe the mascara off your face, and decide you deserve a sausage roll from the slightly suspicious SU bakery. The essay still isn’t done, but at least you survived another day.
So, to anyone currently crying in the library toilets, just remember you’re not alone, and you’ll probably see me there next week. The daytime breakdown is a rite of passage. You’ll be fine, you’ll submit it, and you’ll do it all again next week.
Come back next Monday for another column from your favourite oversharer!
Image Credits: Unsplash
