Charley’s unsolicited takes on the uni topics no one dares to mention…
In honour of your favourite columnist finally turning 20 (and feeling insanely old), it’s time to reflect on first year again, especially the nights out.
A mixture of nerves, cheap vodka and late-night cheesy chips: every night out is an emotional rollercoaster. If you haven’t experienced at least one of these stages, you’re simply not drinking right.
Stage 1: Strangely motivated
The outfit looks hot, the hair is working, and you spend way too much time posing in the mirror with your cheap, probably expired pre-drink of choice. The world is yours for the taking, and you can’t wait to get to the club and cause whatever havoc you choose.
Stage 2: Trying not to panic
The entire flat you invited for pres hasn’t shown up. Someone’s already throwing up in the bathroom.
You’ve run out of mixers.
How could it get any worse? Well, let me tell you.
Stage 3: Way too drunk too early
To cope with the chaos, you turn to your trusty companion: booze. A shot of vodka, a few expired BrewDogs (please, don’t do that to yourself), or my personal favourite, a vodka Corona. Two hours in and you’ve forgotten your name, told your friends how much you adore them, and started recalling everyone who has ever wronged you in any way, shape or form.
Stage 4: The classic drunk cry
It starts with a trickle of tears, happy ones of course. Until they’re not. Every memory comes flooding back: the exes, the high school friends, the random guy from the Leadmill smokers area, and suddenly you’re gone.
The tears won’t stop now, terrifying everyone around you as you babble some gibberish about hating everyone and everything (including yourself, sometimes).
More often than not, this ends with you being carried to bed, still in hysterics, and calling your poor dad 200 miles away at 1am when he’s got work in the morning (my sincerest apologies). By the time you’ve forgotten how much you hate the world, you’re half asleep while everyone else is still clubbing the night away.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was about 50% of my first year, and probably yours too.
In honour of Mental Health Awareness Day (a little late, but the thought still counts), please remember to reach out when there’s something deeper going on. Don’t rely on alcohol to mask your problems, unless it’s Guinness, then maybe it’s fine, and never mix vodka and beer.
Come back next Monday for another column from your favourite oversharer!
Image Credits: Unsplash
