To centre Superintendent Roy Grace in the published premise of this show feels like misrepresentation. The scenes with him and his assistant were few and far between, and as far as I could tell, the story would’ve unfolded in much the same way without him. A few less scenes would have been no bad thing: poor scene transitions accompanied by twee musical flourishes made the show grind to a halt every time a different location was used, and much of the action felt unnecessary. Too much time was spent focusing on the couple’s steamy relationship, time that could have been spent showing the titular character actually doing his job and tracking down the criminals, instead of operating off convenient phone calls. The plot was simultaneously too simple and extremely confusing, with the primary action point of forgeries of a famous painting being played pretty much to death. Why go back to earlier plot points and link the story to itself when you can just say another forgery turned up? The motivations and character of Dave Hegarty, the ex-forgery-painter, seemed to change with every scene as he flip-flopped between swearing he was a good man and close friend of the couple, and actively working to sabotage them to help Roberta Kilgore the art dealer. This was especially a shame as Mark Oxtoby, playing Dave Hegarty, really shone as an actor in this role. He did the best he could to balance the character between ‘gruff with a heart of gold’ and ‘inexcusably corrupt’, but it was the former impression that stuck out as a really enjoyable performance. He was great to watch onstage, as well as having some funny moments.
The same cannot be said of the other actors, sadly. Ore Oduba as an eccentric art collector had very little depth and mostly didn’t seem to understand how to act. His final scene was laughable, though he was far from alone in being unable to react in any way convincingly to stage violence or injury. All the stage combat within this show was poor, and it cannot be excused as a family-friendly choice; for a show with so many gratuitous references to sex, you would think they could have shown at least a little blood or injury detail when violence was so frequent. The lack of realistic response to violence and pain made the whole show feel make-believe and cheesy. Mr and Mrs Kipling, played by Fiona Wade and Ben Cutler felt pretty much soulless, though how much of this is due to the writing I am not sure. None of the characters, save Dave Hegarty, felt even slightly likeable due to having very little depth or motivation. This may be the fault of novelist James, stage adapter McKenna or director O’Boyle, or the actors themselves, but it was not an enjoyable show considering I cared for none of the characters.
The technical elements of the show had mixed success. The set was gorgeous and impressive, with three out of four locations being well set up and communicating their intent clearly. The main problem with it was that three different rooms in different places were attempted to all be set up along the back of the stage. This meant that the edges of the two sets on the outsides were practically offstage and characters in those sets frequently disappeared from view, and the set in the middle blended into those at each side, leaving me confused why nobody was using half the space they seemingly had. The lighting of the ‘sky’ above the stage was nice and so was the diffuse light through onstage windows. The sound effects, however, were nothing short of comedic. Too sparsely used, they were unexpected and just made dramatic reveals, already struggling, into moments of laughter.
Overall this show was a disappointment. Both too cheesy and straightforward to be appealing to crime fans and too explicit to be a family evening out, Picture You Dead struggled to find either an audience or a purpose. Perhaps with more work on characters it could have been entertaining, but this play should’ve stayed a TV show: the stage adaptations should have stopped at number six.
Rating: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
