The dead speak! The galaxy has heard a mysterious broadcast, a threat of CAPITALISM in the sinister voice of the absolute wildcard, UBISOFT.
Welcome to E3! Sit down, grab a drink, and then grab a stronger drink because you know they’re going to talk about the games we don’t care about for far too long and only show ‘logo.jpeg’ for the true bangers.
So let’s begin, first up is:
Rainbow Six: Extraction
Take the aesthetic of Haze (that very “meh” PS3 FPS), the rocky dudes from Infamous: Second Son (except make them symbiote zombies), and the amazing teamwork-heavy, infiltration-focussed gameplay of Rainbow Six: Siege and there you have Extraction.
There are a couple new gimmicks this time around: this instalment features three-player co-op with a mechanic that means when operatives (AKA playable characters) get downed in battle, they go MiA and must be rescued during a separate mission, a bit like how you’ve got to care for your team in Watch Dogs: Legion, now that I think about it.
Each operative has a unique feature set very much like other popular first person shooters, and just like every other game as of late there’s an upgrade system to take advantage of as you grow more experienced with each individual character.
The cinematic trailer depicted a mission involving the rescue of an operative from the ensnarement of a symbiotic alien pillar by a group of three “dudes in armour with guns”, and the operatives here are characters returning from Siege. I guess if you’re a series fan with a steadfast main, you’re in luck.
That’s really it for this one. If you’ve been looking for a version of Siege that you only need two friends to play, maybe 16 September 2021 is the day you’re waiting for.
Rocksmith+
“Hey guys! Do you remember that so-called ‘game’ which taught you how to play the real guitar? So do we, and that’s why we’ve decided to change our business model to better suit people with lots of money they don’t want.
“Introducing ‘Subscription-Service’, our brand new way to pay!
“We know a lot of you love buying stuff, and after seeing the success of Fender Play over the pandemic, we decided to get a piece of that sweet action.”
“We hope you’ll enjoy our limited repertoire of professionally designed levels for songs in genres beyond rock, and we doubly hope you’ll enjoy the workshop support being added so you can put in the effort for us!”
“Thanks for the money, now fuck off.”
Riders Republic
This game looks like if Steep met other people.
What is it with Ubisoft and extreme sports involving snowboarding and wingsuits, and why is it that of all the sports shown, the first-person off-road biking looked like the most fun? I have no interest in mountain biking or BMXing in real life, though I do prefer motorbikes in Mario Kart, so what do I know.
It seems they’re really pushing the multiplayer element of this game, and if the races really will involve 50+ players then this could be amazingly chaotic fun. But will it be like the incoherent babbling mess of a Fall Guys lobby, or like the serious atmosphere of traditional racing games?
Knowing Ubisoft, it’s more likely the former. We’ll have to wait until 2 September 2021 to see for sure.
There’s also an open world aspect to the game, offering some level of discovery through iconic US national parks such as Yosemite Valley, Bryce Canyon, and Mammoth Mountain, and in the trailer admiring the view seemed like a quaint way to catch your breath between exhilarating downhill exploration.
Rainbow Six: Siege
This game which came out six years ago is getting some quality-of-life updates. I couldn’t tell you what they are, my friend and I were too busy talking about the new games coming out.
However, something actually notable is that Siege is getting crossplay support. This will arrive to PC, Stadia, and Luna on 30 June, and is coming to Xbox and Playstation “early 2022”.
Oh, and there’s a new defensive operator called Thunderbird coming in the North Star event which starts 14 June.
Uhhhh… I don’t understand what’s going on.
Following on came a section where they flashed between a bunch of games that are getting updates or have already had updates. There’s a new season of For Honour called Mirage, Brawlhalla has a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles update, and The Crew 2 has a live update. Suddenly, there were bright colours and arcade-like racing on the screen and, for a second, I thought there was a new Trackmania game being announced! Alas, ‘twas just another bloody update.
Just Dance 2022
Do people still buy these games? Well, I guess we couldn’t do the Macarena forever, and with 40 new songs on the horizon I’m sure someone somewhere will have fun with this.
I’m just sad that we didn’t get a cringeworthy dance section this year, my second favourite part of Ubisoft at E3 is watching overpaid gaming celebrities grooving alongside giant pandas and Raving Rabbids. My first favourite part involves hiding sexism and nepotism within the higher echelons of power and doing the bare minimum to solve workplace abuse, which apparently 25% of my employees experience.
Oh wait, that’s not me, it’s just Ubisoft.
Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla
It has a second DLC pack coming – ‘Siege of Paris’ which is following up the first DLC pack, ‘Wrath of the Druids’. This second DLC is said to include classic black box infiltration missions which are far closer to the approach of the original games regarding stealth and… assassinating. Simply put, I’m dubious of this. The modern Assassin’s Creed games are so far detached from their source at this point that I question the point of harkening back to its roots.
You’re now a game about bashing people across the head with an explosive mace, Assassin’s Creed; why can’t you just own that?
They’re also adding a ‘Discovery Mode’ similar to the last two instalments in Autumn. Apparently, people think Ubisoft’s worlds are pretty enough to sightsee within and despite the fact that while they appear beautiful on a surface level, they are actually wide as an ocean and deep as a puddle, I agree. Sometimes splashing around in a puddle is all the fun you need.
Far Cry 6
Hey look, it’s the horse from Horsin’ Around.
Mario + Rabbids: Sparks of Hope
So one of the Switch’s most underrated titles is getting a sequel using themes and characters from Super Mario Galaxy, best of all producing a moody Rabbid Rosalina! The first game, Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle, was an XCOM-style tactical shooter which received one Donkey Kong themed DLC to make up for the game’s short length.
This game seems to have cracked the sequel formula: more of the same but with a couple tweaks. For instance, it appears that the camera for overworld exploration has been shifted down from isometric view to third-person. Additionally, it looks like they are changing up some features of combat, perhaps most prominently the movement system, which appears to still be range-restricted, but is no longer locked to a grid. Going by the cinematic trailer, it appears that some character mechanics may have changed too, such as giving Mario the ability to dual wield pistols, Luigi uses a bow instead of a sniper rifle, and Peach has this colossal umbrella to smack a bitch with.
I for one am incredibly excited, and this last-minute reveal (with a vague 2022 release date) was the highlight of the show for me. I’m glad they picked a high to end on and didn’t drop anything disappointing or ambiguous afterwards…
Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora
You know that film that came out in… (hastily googles) 2009? Well 12 years later we are proud to announce a game for it. Wait, why aren’t you drowning in excitement?
If you played Ark: Survival Evolved and thought: “Yeah, this is good and all, but it would be better with creatively licenced entities” then Ubisoft have got you covered. I’m sure there are a lot of Avatar fans out there, and I’m sure this game will in some way link to the upcoming Avatar 2, Avatar 3, Avatar 4, and Avatar 5. But I just don’t care.
Does James Cameron want Avatar to be the new MCU? We all saw how The Avengers (the game) turned out and it was a travesty. Sure, you can make your game look ultra-pretty with 16K graphics that needs a quantum supercomputer to run it, but it leaves me asking a single question.
Why?
Images: Ubisoft, Nintendo