“I remember being heavily pregnant walking into lecture theatres and not being able to walk through the aisle to get a chair. I felt really isolated. Lonely.”
Annie, 30, is one of Sheffield University’s many students with children. She’s remembering a moment in her second year, one that may be all too familiar for student parents.
Born, raised, and educated in Sheffield, Annie is currently balancing caring for her four-year-old son with tackling the first year of her Sociology PhD.
Most students struggle to attend lectures scheduled before midday, but student parents like Annie must combine the rigours of academia with the matter of raising a living, breathing human being.
The unimaginable for most, is a daily reality for some. A significant minority make the same investment in University as the rest of us, only with an altogether different lifestyle.
Annie sees experiences like hers as a symptom of a system that doesn’t sufficiently cater for those who don’t ‘fit the bill’, those different to the middle class eighteen-year-old archetype.
This feeling is not uncommon. Bethany, starting the fourth year of her PhD in January while caring for her three-year-old daughter, doesn’t see herself as “shunned” but makes it clear that the balancing act between the role of student and parent is something that people don’t understand.
“Things are harder for you and that’s not always acknowledged,” she said.
It’s a challenge student parents alone must meet, how to fulfil academic obligations while making sure their child is, at the risk of sounding like a life insurance ad, happy and healthy.
This challenge, in the economic climate of 2022, is most clearly shown in its financial implications, which are dominated by childcare.
The nursery run by the Students’ Union is “brilliant” and the people who run it are “really nice”, according to Annie. It received unanimous praise from all the students I spoke to.
Madeleine Perry, a third year medicine student and mother of a two-year-old daughter, was similarly positive about the staff but admitted that paying for childcare has been “the bane of my life” nonetheless.
This is a contrast frequently mentioned by student parents, the quality of service they receive from the nursery is pitted against the fact that, to put it simply, the nursery isn’t cheap. At £137.50 for 25 hours of care a week, it is level with the national average of £137.69.
The University offers a small nursery fee subsidy – cutting costs by up to £8 a session – and access to a hardship fund for those who are struggling to shoulder the costs. However, both depend on having an annual household income lower than £25,000 and share a strict application process – thought by Bethany to be “made difficult as a deterrent”, with “so many hoops to jump through.”
All the students featured in the piece are married, or in long-term relationships. Crucial to their experience is that they have a partner to shoulder the financial burden with. Some also have close family or friends living locally, willing to share in childcare responsibilities. For prospective students without similar support networks, the cost may prove prohibitive.
One student from India, who wished to remain anonymous, brought her parents-in-law with her to Sheffield to manage the care of her young son. She said how the UK manages childcare is a “total shift” culturally from her home country – where children are cared for by their grandparents.
“I feel guilty about dragging them through this at their age,” she said.
They are scheduled to return to India in a month’s time, and she knows it will be difficult without them. Her husband’s work requires a long commute and so outside of nursery hours she will be solely responsible for her son’s care. She suggests the provision of a service after nursery time provided by the University.
Other measures that could be taken to prevent prospective student parents being shut out from studying at Sheffield include the University easing access to emergency funds and further subsidising nursery fees.
Describing the University’s pastoral support, students suggest the picture is somewhat brighter.
The experience of student parents and their individual departments are largely positive. Bethany describes hers as “incredibly supportive.” Since her pregnancy, she’s undertaken two separate leaves of absence, during which academics and administrative staff made it clear that her wellbeing comes first.
She said: “Short-breaks and extended deadlines aren’t treated like the end of the world.”
Madeleine spoke of leaning on her personal tutor when stressed about managing the parental-academic balance. During their last meeting she was “having kittens” about how she was going to pay for childcare and he was very supportive, suggesting a range of financial options she could investigate.
However, aside from the practical challenges student parents face, and how the University succeeds or fails in helping them get by, maybe the bigger issue is a question of culture.
Annie points out that if you input ‘University of Sheffield student parents’ into Google you’ll be greeted by an exhaustive and thoroughly helpful guide for how to be a parent of a student.
“We’re a demographic that’s not on their radar.
Annie saidt: “I feel that certain parts of the University are only bothered about engaging with people from conventional backgrounds.
Another sign is how the University’s Experience Sheffield scholarship, offered to widen participation amongst underrepresented groups, doesn’t include being a parent in their eligibility criteria.
Madeleine said: “Most of my classmates get the scholarship, but I miss out as I don’t meet the requirements.”
The consensus is that this disconnect is more down to ignorance than malice. An institution lacking awareness, rather than being hostile to, student parents.
Annie is quick to emphasise she is not seeking pity. “I don’t expect anyone to carry me through university … It’s a massive privilege, being a mum and a student.”
Bethany also recommends entering University as a parent, provided you are “firm with your boundaries and unafraid of being vulnerable with your course managers.
“During meetings it feels like I’m oversharing, but that’s the only way they can help me, if they know the whole situation,” she said.
These parents were all aware that earning a degree while raising a child was always going to be hard, and they’re fine with that, they just don’t want it to be prohibitively so.