It has become one of the most well-known animated films of the 2000s and still holds children and adults alike in wonder, constantly re-emerging in the most unexpected places. So it was surely only a matter of time until the lesser-known musical adaptation returned to the London stages and thus Shrek the Musical is back! I went to see this production in its new home at the Hammersmith Apollo and here is my review of that production and, spoiler alert, why it really ought to have stayed dead and buried in the swamp.

Shrek the Musical is an adaptation of the 2001 animated Dreamworks film starring Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy. Following the titular ogre, Shrek sees hundreds of fairytale creatures evicted from the kingdom of Duloc and relocated to Shrek’s swamp, with the only hope of shifting them by delivering the fabled Princess Fiona to Duloc’s ruler Lord Farquaad. But as the duo, joined by Donkey, make their way, the two have more in common than they may think, and Shrek’s priorities are tested as they have never been before.

This isn’t the first time Shrek the Musical has been in the U.K., most notably originating at the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane around a decade ago. This was a particularly special production as it is, as far as I can tell, my first ever time seeing any show in a theatre. So Shrek the Musical has a special place in my heart. And I’m not entirely sure whether a lot of what I’ve noticed can be put down to fond childhood memories, but this latest incarnation is bad. It’s not a good show by any means. It has so many issues, inconsistencies and bad choices that it is, at times, painful to sit through.

Image Credit: Shrek the Musical

The plot and storyline is perhaps the most solid part of this entire production, which is always an interesting sign considering that the story had already been devised, with this latest production just singing to it. But the direction that this latest incarnation has chosen to go has so many problems, namely its location and intentions. The Hammersmith Apollo is a vast venue and is far too big for the production staged and the technical capacity the show offers. It also feels far too much like a pantomime, with strangely-used real-world jokes adding nothing to the show, getting very few laughs and making the entire thing feel like the genuinely below-average small town pantomime we get every Christmas.

The songs written for this show are nothing special, and really represent the issues with making a non-musical entity into a musical because songs are just written and added in unnecessarily. The start of the second act sees Shrek and Fiona arguing in song over which of them has had the worst experience of life so far, and having to sit and listen to it, the resounding answer is every person forced to endure it. I do have to give credit where it’s due, however, some songs have been rewritten to remove offensive sections and slurs that graced the soundtrack before (but are still available to be heard on the original cast recording), so at least now the songs are only offensive to the ears, rather than actually being truly offensive. They are complemented with near-universal bad vocals from the cast and do nothing to move the production forwards, besides Shrek’s song ‘Build a Wall’ after kicking out all of the fairytale creatures doing nothing but assuring us who he will be voting for in the U.S. Election later this year.

As we move onto the technical departments, lets preface this part by saying every single technical department has serious issues with their parts in this production. Beginning with the best (although I use that term incredibly loosely) section, the lighting design is sufficient to do what needs to be done. You can see the cast for the majority of the production and the highlighting of different areas of the stage, or using some fixtures placed in the auditorium is used well. However, the large lighting archway over the playing area of the stage is very distracting and adds very little to the production at all. There is also an issue with follow-spots showing up on the large screens used throughout the show, but that’s an entire issue in itself!

Image Credit: Shrek the Musical

The choreography is the shining star of this production, with imaginative use of space, ensemble, main cast and set coming together for eye-catching dance numbers in a range of styles helping to keep the (many) songs moving, even with lacklustre vocals. I enjoyed the effort and imagination that has gone into these arrangements and they’re carried out well, for powerful visuals at a number of key occasions that really elevated everything else that was happening on stage in this show.

But speaking of visuals, we have to discuss the set. And thinking back through this production and, crucially, the last time this production was staged, there’s one word that emerges above all else to describe this set and that, unfortunately, is lazy. For a show that has as much reach as something such as Shrek does, in a venue as grand as the Hammersmith Apollo, this set was so unbelievably dull and feels like a huge leap backwards has taken place. Gone are the imaginative pieces that appear out of nowhere, such as an actual suspended rope bridge rising from the stage for our characters to climb across, gone are well crafted backdrops, and in their place come second-rate replacements that are more school production than London theatre.

A hint of a rope bridge is placed on the floor, removing all perceived risk of the moat of lava, and the use of large screens with projections is one of the worst creative choices I’ve seen in theatre. Follow-spots shine onto it, removing any of the projection coming onto it and the way these are used to add scene or obstacle, such as a portcullis that was more transparent than the laziness of it, is a disappointing choice that screams cutting corners. Also, if anyone can tell me how gingerbread stretches I would greatly appreciate it, because whoever decided that Gingy can be stretched on a rack and not break in two clearly knows something I don’t.

Image Credit: London Box Office

The costume designs are very largely the same as in previous years, having shown very little innovation in the past decade besides evolving backwards. The rat tap dancers have lost the rats on their feet or themselves from the looks of it, with dull grey costumes and tiny ears being lost on fresh audiences and Pinocchio’s nose no longer growing, only the performers all leaning back slightly with a growing noise that isn’t replicated visually. If the nose isn’t going to grow as it is meant to, it might be worth cutting those sounds and long-nose jokes out!

I also found it particularly confusing as to why the dragon’s puppeteers are dressed in all-black. If there was a dark background, this would make perfect sense. But considering how light the environment is with pink highlights around the walls, black outfits actually makes them more visible than a regular outfit would have. What’s more, and quite frustratingly, four previous knights are added into this scene for no reason other than, to literally quote their characters, “provide backing vocals”. So whilst you’ve got these four ensemble knights running around, why weren’t the puppeteers dressed in the same way? It’s baffling to me that this wasn’t seen or worked out in a better way, with three shadows running around on a bright stage under the dragon. There are good ways to implement the puppeteers, and this was way off of the mark.

And now onto sound. This theatre is far too big for the production, with voices and sound effects echoing rather than reaching every audience member effectively. I’m not sure whether this is a venue issue or a production issue (or both), but this production does not immerse you in any sense of the word and harks back to bad school production, in more areas than just sound. The voices can often not be heard (for better or for worse) and this chaotic arrangement helps to further switch you off from the production and wishing you’d stayed at home for the music instead.

Jonathan David Dudley as Captain of the Guard / Pied Piper / Priest. Image Credit: Shrek the Musical

Most of the cast had shining moments, but none gave a shining performance, sadly. Todrick Hall’s Donkey adds the most comedy to the show, Joanna Clifton’s Princess Fiona is engaging at times and Anthony Lawrence’s Shrek makes decent use of the space, but none gave a showstopping performance that stuck out among the cast. In fact, my favourite performance actually came from Jonathan David Dudley as Captain of the Guard, Pied Piper and Priest, who’s small roles actually shone through really well and were much funnier to me than the main cast counterparts. His acting, comedic timing and general comfort on stage was great, allowing him to shine through among the rest of the cast.

The latest incarnation of Shrek the Musical is not offensive. And sadly, that’s about the only thing preventing this show from getting a single star review. Lazy creative decisions, costs cut at every point, mediocre acting and soundtrack and a god-awful sound experience all combine to give a production that is a long way off being fit for a London stage. There are individual good moments, such as the Duloc welcome song, and the three Fiona’s singing together was very impressive, particularly given the young cast, but these are exceptions to the rule. I’m not sure what the future for this show is but if it’s anything other than the rehearsal room, it needs to be ended. I can’t help but thinking the opening song from Shrek’s parents advising him that “It’s a Big Bright Beautiful World…but not for you” was actually not aimed at the young ogre at all, but at everyone who was about to sit through this royal carriage-crash of a production.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Shrek the Musical is playing at the Hammersmith Apollo until August 31st

Image Credit: London Theatre