We’ve all heard that phrase countless times. Whether that be from family members, friends, or current university students, we all know exactly what I’m talking about.
When we’re constantly fed the narrative that first year is supposed to be some magical period of your life where everything runs smoothly and you’re the best version of yourself, it makes it difficult to deal with things when they inevitably don’t go to plan.
So, let’s set out first year realistically, highlighting the things that do, and most likely go slightly off schedule. These things don’t mean that first year isn’t going to be an amazing year, but also makes it easier to know where to go for support, and accept the fact that university isn’t always sunshine and rainbows.
- Loneliness
You are most likely moving to a new city, where at the beginning you’ll have a very limited support network. Although I’m sure you’ll make friendships early on, even in the babble of freshers week there will be periods of time where it is just you and your new bedroom. Particularly in the day time where your flatmates and friends have different timetables, you have to occupy yourself. I originally found this difficult as I was so used to always having someone near. You will eventually adapt and find ways to spend this time and genuinely relax, and it may become crucial for your wellbeing, but initially it can leave you feeling alone or like you’re not doing enough.
- Independence
It’s not always just housework or food shopping that can be overwhelming for first year students. It’s the fact that suddenly, you have full responsibility for your own life. You no longer have your parents waking you up to make sure you go to class on time, no dinner on the table ready for you before a night out, and no one to remind you to do your laundry. It all sounds simple, but for me especially, it wasn’t necessarily the activities themselves, but the massive switch of responsibility. Bear in mind, you’re juggling all of this whilst making friends, starting your degree and discovering a new city – it’s a lot at once!
- Flatmates
Unfortunately, you can’t always choose who you live with in first year, and even if you do, it’s very unlikely these are people you meet before move-in day, and how they sound on paper doesn’t necessarily reflect who they are in real life. Don’t get me wrong, you may find your “found family” in your new flat, but there is also a possibility that although you get on well and can live together adequately, you may feel closer connections with people you meet on your course or at society events. Just remember that there is nothing wrong with this, whatever way it ends up. Don’t let social media profiles of flats of 10 people who are all platonic soulmates get you down. Likelihood is, this is still very possible to find at university, but more typically in your second or third year accommodation, as you get the chance to know people properly before choosing who you’ll live with for the next year.
These are the main things I definitely had unrealistic expectations about when I first started university, and I felt disappointed in myself when things didn’t seem quite as perfect as I always thought it would be: and these small points don’t even mention the workload of your university course itself!
The first year of uni is always going to be something you remember fondly, despite any challenges, but that doesn’t mean you have to ignore those issues and avoid reaching out just because you feel you should.
Believe me, as someone who’s about to go into my third and final year: every year of university gets so much better. You get more confident and more comfortable in the city and uni life, and by the end of your course you’ll look back at your first year and appreciate how far you’ve come, and not even think about those tough moments you dealt with or feel bad for having them during your first year.
Image by Adrian Swancar on Unsplash
